Wow I didn't realise how long it had been since my last blog :\ I guess I got kinda distracted ahahha
Well for starters that catch up with the guys from the club didn't really go as planned. The Best Friend made different plans that I didn't want to follow, and then I got some news about my past that upset me and I ended up taking it out on him. We talked the next day and he understood, which was good. I still went out that night and caught up with some one the girls before they left for holidays and then hung out with my babygirl and had some girly giggle time with her :)
Tuesday I went into the office and hung out for a bit, made a new cocktail and a new shot, then I went to pick up my mates sister and take her to get her ears pierced. Long story short it didn't end up happening. We went back to her house and I caught up with her family and her brother, who is the guy who acts like a female sometimes. Then later I went for dinner with the girl who broke up with her boyfriend. She's a gem. We decided to go out all week and have fun. Since my Best Friend decided that he didn't have time for me.
Wednesday we weren't going to go out, since we where both tired. So we went to the movies and saw No Strings Attached. Amazing movie! Hhahah I think everyone should see it personally, especially guys. We came back to mine and along the way something snapped in us and I managed to convince her that we needed to dress up and go out :) And thats exactly what we did haha I got her drunk and we had a blast our few hours of dancing ended up being 5am! I woke up to her calling me for breakfast because she had a nasty hangover lol.
We decided against going out that night, purely because we where both tired and she was very hungover. Which was lucky because I text saying that I needed to be down in the city to do a shift at this place I've never heard of. Turns out it was an epic night and I got paid to flirt with a really cute bar guy I was working with. On the down side I got a call that afternoon from a telemarketer who got my phone number off my ex-boyfriend. Fuckwit.
Friday for work I actually decided to put some effort into how I looked and chucked in my extensions and did my makeup all nice and wore this top with slits all across the front. It looked good, if I might say so myself :) I was preparing for a bit of a spat at work because my boss rang me about an hour before hand to tell me that I wouldn't be running my own bar, my best friend would be. So yea. But it turned out to be a fairly ok night. My favorite bouncer was back last night :) And the new kid was there and is still as much as a mystery as he was last week. But heyy, I guess thats why I enjoy talking to him, cause I can't figure him out. Especially when he got all angry and annoyed when I told him about that guy that was being a fuckhead.
Buuuttt on another note its the best friends birthday tomorrow and I've just bought him his birthday present :) And since we shall be working together tonight I shall give it to him at midnight on the dot :) Even though he already knows what it is, and he's not to happy about it lol but oh well :) Hhahah
Anyways, now that I've caught up. I needa bail so I can get some food and start getting ready for work again lol over and out :)
Saturday, February 19, 2011
Saturday, February 12, 2011
All In
Well work last night was interesting, to say the least, it was fun, but painful. My fingers decided to be increasingly difficult making my job as bartender harder than it needs to be.
On a good note though, my gorgeous babygirl came back from her holidays and was at work last night, and it was amazing to have her back. I missed her heaps and heaps. The new kid came in lastnight even though he wasn't working. He still has me puzzled and I still can't work out what his deal is. But I got to know him on a much deeper level, and it was good really good. From what I can make of him so far we seem to be very similar and he has a lot on common with the Best Friend more than I first thought. We have had some pretty deep conversations, it's good though, it's been a while since I've found someone I can relate to in this way. While at the same time remaining a complete mystery.
Tonight we're catching up with some of the guys from the club at a favourite club/bar of ours. Should be good to catch up and chill. But yes, before I go into anymore girly giggle gossip about the kid, I shall go. I need to get ready and start harrassing the Best Friend. He needs to wake up lol
On a good note though, my gorgeous babygirl came back from her holidays and was at work last night, and it was amazing to have her back. I missed her heaps and heaps. The new kid came in lastnight even though he wasn't working. He still has me puzzled and I still can't work out what his deal is. But I got to know him on a much deeper level, and it was good really good. From what I can make of him so far we seem to be very similar and he has a lot on common with the Best Friend more than I first thought. We have had some pretty deep conversations, it's good though, it's been a while since I've found someone I can relate to in this way. While at the same time remaining a complete mystery.
Tonight we're catching up with some of the guys from the club at a favourite club/bar of ours. Should be good to catch up and chill. But yes, before I go into anymore girly giggle gossip about the kid, I shall go. I need to get ready and start harrassing the Best Friend. He needs to wake up lol
Lifehouse
So the past few days have been pretty good actually. Went out the other night to a punk/rock alternative club, the Best Friend has never been before and besides it was singles night so we had to go :) The guy that acts like a girl came and the girl who just broke up with her boyfriend came too. It was a really fun night, we all wore red and the girl and I got hit on a few times. Each time being interrupted by the boys who felt it was there duty to intimidate them.I did end up with a number, which was purely because I think the bestfriend scared him so much he felt like he had no choice lol.Funny enough we've actually spoken a fair bit. He seems pretty nice.
Work last night was a blast, bar the having to do this function thingy for the owner of the club that was a bit of a bore. I had this amazing new top that I wore. It's all ripped and yea, ripped clothes will be the death of me I swear. But yea, the new glassy guy. I can't remember if I've mentioned him or not, we'll he was there again. And he's still as ,much as a puzzle to me as he was last week and the week before and I love puzzles :)
I've finally decided on my next tattoo and I can't wait to find the proper design and what not. I have a thing with words so most of my tattoos are gonna be words. It's going to read "Tell me I can't I'll show you I can." To me it meaningful. Because I've been told I can't all my life, with all my medical conditions it's always been you can't do this and you wont' be able to do this and everytime I've still done it and left the Doctors speechless. It's always something with me, like at the moment my arthritis is playing up something nasty, which makes working in bar really hard. But I'm the Bar Manager even still.
I'm hoping for an easier night tonight, last night they got pretty bad. But oh well :) Thats life. Anyways once again I gotta go get ready for work. Over and out :)
Work last night was a blast, bar the having to do this function thingy for the owner of the club that was a bit of a bore. I had this amazing new top that I wore. It's all ripped and yea, ripped clothes will be the death of me I swear. But yea, the new glassy guy. I can't remember if I've mentioned him or not, we'll he was there again. And he's still as ,much as a puzzle to me as he was last week and the week before and I love puzzles :)
I've finally decided on my next tattoo and I can't wait to find the proper design and what not. I have a thing with words so most of my tattoos are gonna be words. It's going to read "Tell me I can't I'll show you I can." To me it meaningful. Because I've been told I can't all my life, with all my medical conditions it's always been you can't do this and you wont' be able to do this and everytime I've still done it and left the Doctors speechless. It's always something with me, like at the moment my arthritis is playing up something nasty, which makes working in bar really hard. But I'm the Bar Manager even still.
I'm hoping for an easier night tonight, last night they got pretty bad. But oh well :) Thats life. Anyways once again I gotta go get ready for work. Over and out :)
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Hanging by a moment
Well, yesterday was a pretty brilliant day. Having only gotten four hours the night before I felt really good and spent the day shopping :) Ran into my Conscience and hung out with him, and then spent literally the next 10 hours with the Best Friend.
Everything finally feels like its falling back into place again. Things seem to be better than ever. He got a new tattoo, so since his mother loves me more, I bought her flowers to soften the effect it might have on her lol. Yes, thats how we roll. We decided that we needed to go out, since it's been so long. Called in the mutual friend who can act like a female and hit up the local pub.
Over all it was a great night, got to hang out with a guy from the pub who I've known for about 6/7 months now. But we just never hung out outside of work, but yea it was good. Really good. I can't stop smiling it was that good.
I told the Best Friend about needing to talk to him about why I don't trust guys and what not and he wants to know. Only if I'm comfortable telling him though, which is sweet of him. But I don't think we could become any more comfortable if we tried haha.
Oh and on another note, I've completely finished the new edits to the Prologue of Behind the Fall. It's even better than it was before, if thats possible?? Lol. I don't think it is. But yea.
Anyways I gotta go leave some movies back I rented a few days ago. So I gotta love ya and leave ya ^__^
Everything finally feels like its falling back into place again. Things seem to be better than ever. He got a new tattoo, so since his mother loves me more, I bought her flowers to soften the effect it might have on her lol. Yes, thats how we roll. We decided that we needed to go out, since it's been so long. Called in the mutual friend who can act like a female and hit up the local pub.
Over all it was a great night, got to hang out with a guy from the pub who I've known for about 6/7 months now. But we just never hung out outside of work, but yea it was good. Really good. I can't stop smiling it was that good.
I told the Best Friend about needing to talk to him about why I don't trust guys and what not and he wants to know. Only if I'm comfortable telling him though, which is sweet of him. But I don't think we could become any more comfortable if we tried haha.
Oh and on another note, I've completely finished the new edits to the Prologue of Behind the Fall. It's even better than it was before, if thats possible?? Lol. I don't think it is. But yea.
Anyways I gotta go leave some movies back I rented a few days ago. So I gotta love ya and leave ya ^__^
Monday, February 7, 2011
Everyone hurts you
This is a theory I've had for a very long while. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure you all have that one person who you will swear blindly will never hurt you. But the truth is, they will. They may not be doing it on purpose but it will happen. Loving someone is giving them the power to hurt you, but trusting them not too. Thats what you get when you love someone, in any form. You leave your self open to be hurt by those people, because you care about someone.
Yes okay, I may be slightly more bias than others because I don't really believe in love and I'm not really good with trusting people. But this is all because I for one learn from my mistakes, and I expect everyone to hurt me. It's human nature, you can't please everyone and when you try too all you end up doing is hurting them.
It's the fear of losing them people that you care about that allows you to over look any wrong doing done by them, yet another human flaw, we become attached to people so that we will suffer to keep them in our lives. We will allow some people to treat us like dirt because we rather have them in our lives than not, and once again thats the cold hard truth. And the truth hurts. I never said it didn't.
Anyways on another note, I'm back properly talking to that girl I mentioned before, who used to be pretty much by best friend. She's having a pretty hard time at the moment and called me up for some girly time. I went, purely because she was there for me last week when I needed a girl to talk too, and because silly little human me cares. Which brings me back to my theory that everybody hurts you. It's quite similar to the theory that everyone lies, each for their own reason of course. And if their not out right lying, they are simply concealing the truth or only telling you half the truth, which is just as bad.
I personally don't see the point in lying to my friends, I rather them be angry at me for telling them than angry at me for lying to them. Yes another little theory of mine. I have many :) It may take some time for me to tell you all I want you to know, but you will eventually find out. Like now, I feel very strongly, due to certain events in the past few weeks of course, about telling my Best Friend and the guy friend that can act like a female, about my complete past. No gaps. I don't know why after going on four years of friendship with both of them that I've only now decided to tell them. But I have.
I'm a firm believer of not putting all my eggs in one basket, yes another theory of mine haha. Because of my other theory that everyone can hurt you, and the more a person knows about you, the more they can hurt you. Which is probably why I have never told them before. I guess trust is a funny ickle thing. One of them I trust and love whole heartedly, even though things have been shaky the past 2 weeks. And the other I love so much that I hate him, if that makes sense? We just fight a fair bit lol but always find our way back to each other.
Anyways thats enough theories for one night. I'll fill you in on what happens if I decide to talk to either of them tomorrow.
Yes okay, I may be slightly more bias than others because I don't really believe in love and I'm not really good with trusting people. But this is all because I for one learn from my mistakes, and I expect everyone to hurt me. It's human nature, you can't please everyone and when you try too all you end up doing is hurting them.
It's the fear of losing them people that you care about that allows you to over look any wrong doing done by them, yet another human flaw, we become attached to people so that we will suffer to keep them in our lives. We will allow some people to treat us like dirt because we rather have them in our lives than not, and once again thats the cold hard truth. And the truth hurts. I never said it didn't.
Anyways on another note, I'm back properly talking to that girl I mentioned before, who used to be pretty much by best friend. She's having a pretty hard time at the moment and called me up for some girly time. I went, purely because she was there for me last week when I needed a girl to talk too, and because silly little human me cares. Which brings me back to my theory that everybody hurts you. It's quite similar to the theory that everyone lies, each for their own reason of course. And if their not out right lying, they are simply concealing the truth or only telling you half the truth, which is just as bad.
I personally don't see the point in lying to my friends, I rather them be angry at me for telling them than angry at me for lying to them. Yes another little theory of mine. I have many :) It may take some time for me to tell you all I want you to know, but you will eventually find out. Like now, I feel very strongly, due to certain events in the past few weeks of course, about telling my Best Friend and the guy friend that can act like a female, about my complete past. No gaps. I don't know why after going on four years of friendship with both of them that I've only now decided to tell them. But I have.
I'm a firm believer of not putting all my eggs in one basket, yes another theory of mine haha. Because of my other theory that everyone can hurt you, and the more a person knows about you, the more they can hurt you. Which is probably why I have never told them before. I guess trust is a funny ickle thing. One of them I trust and love whole heartedly, even though things have been shaky the past 2 weeks. And the other I love so much that I hate him, if that makes sense? We just fight a fair bit lol but always find our way back to each other.
Anyways thats enough theories for one night. I'll fill you in on what happens if I decide to talk to either of them tomorrow.
Friday, February 4, 2011
Beautiful
It's the name of the song I'm listening to at the moment, by Apocalyptica, they've been the source of my inspiration for many of my poems. And more recently the muse to me finding the inspiration to start my editing on Behind The Fall :) Which might I add feels amazing to finally be back writing again. I have a really good feeling about this draft and I can't wait to get it onto Inkpop for you guys to read.
Anyways in other parts of my life things are finally starting to work out again. My Best Friend and I talked things out yesterday and realized the entire thing was just on huge misunderstanding and we both feel like a huge weight has been lifted off our shoulders. Work was pretty amazing last night too, Even though my bar is now completely over run with guys. Which is really weird because when I first became manager, all my staff where girls and we didn't have a single guy. And now for the past 2 weekends I've only had myself and a team of guys. Which can be quite fun at times.
Nothing else really to report here, now that everythings fix things are starting to look up :) Oh and the Best Friend and I are planning a trip away. Hoping to go and pay a surprise visit to one of our favorite bar girls who moved to the other side of the country. But more on that later haha
Anyways in other parts of my life things are finally starting to work out again. My Best Friend and I talked things out yesterday and realized the entire thing was just on huge misunderstanding and we both feel like a huge weight has been lifted off our shoulders. Work was pretty amazing last night too, Even though my bar is now completely over run with guys. Which is really weird because when I first became manager, all my staff where girls and we didn't have a single guy. And now for the past 2 weekends I've only had myself and a team of guys. Which can be quite fun at times.
Nothing else really to report here, now that everythings fix things are starting to look up :) Oh and the Best Friend and I are planning a trip away. Hoping to go and pay a surprise visit to one of our favorite bar girls who moved to the other side of the country. But more on that later haha
Thursday, February 3, 2011
You're not Sorry
So today and well yesterday I've been filling my time catching up with friends I either haven't seen for ages and some that I stopped talking too. Like yesterday it was that male friend who acts like a female sometimes, and today was an old friend from school I call him my conscience. Because he always knows what to say and he feels bad for me. He's amazing and the other was a chick I stopped talking to a while back. But when I was having a hard time last week because of the after math of Australia day she was right by my side making sure I was ok. And so I felt I owed it to her to go and see her and catch up with her.
Both meetings where great, they helped me understand a few things better than before. I decided to take a friends advice, my gorgeous bar girl who moved to Brissy, and text my Best Friend. And to my non-surprise I didn't get a response. He acts like he cares in public when he's around people, but in private or in text he wont say anything. We have work together tonight, so it should be interesting. I doubt he'll contact me all day and I won't even text him to find out if he's gonna come to work with me, since I know now he wont,
But we'll act as if everythings ok, and I'll pretend like I'm not falling apart on the inside, but there's only so much I can do.
I finally got my new clothes that I bought on ebay, the top I'm going to be wearing to work tonight. It's going to look hot! Matched with a pair of short shorts, I actually can't wait to go to work just to wear the outfit, yea kinda pathetic I know. The new pills the Doc's put me on this time have actually made me feel better, which is a first, maybe they might start getting things right. I'll cross my fingers :) Cause personally I'm sick of always having something wrong with me, after 19years you'd think the world would be bored with giving me strange diseases, but no.
Anyways, over and out, until tomorrow.
Both meetings where great, they helped me understand a few things better than before. I decided to take a friends advice, my gorgeous bar girl who moved to Brissy, and text my Best Friend. And to my non-surprise I didn't get a response. He acts like he cares in public when he's around people, but in private or in text he wont say anything. We have work together tonight, so it should be interesting. I doubt he'll contact me all day and I won't even text him to find out if he's gonna come to work with me, since I know now he wont,
But we'll act as if everythings ok, and I'll pretend like I'm not falling apart on the inside, but there's only so much I can do.
I finally got my new clothes that I bought on ebay, the top I'm going to be wearing to work tonight. It's going to look hot! Matched with a pair of short shorts, I actually can't wait to go to work just to wear the outfit, yea kinda pathetic I know. The new pills the Doc's put me on this time have actually made me feel better, which is a first, maybe they might start getting things right. I'll cross my fingers :) Cause personally I'm sick of always having something wrong with me, after 19years you'd think the world would be bored with giving me strange diseases, but no.
Anyways, over and out, until tomorrow.
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Turn back time
If I could-as much as I don't regret certain things- I would, to yesterday of last week, and trust me I'd do certain things differently. Today I actually thought we might make progress in fixing things with our friendship. Boy, was I wrong. In fact the only thing I discovered was that you can't even stand to be alone with me for longer than 5 minutes. How did we get to this?? Please??? You know whats sad, is that it's our mutual guy friend who acts like a girl who came to my rescue.
He's the one who didn't even ask why, when I sent him a message saying we needed to catch up. All he did was call me and tell me to meet me at the beach in a hour and we'll have pizza and beers. You have no idea how much I loved that boy then. He could tell something was wrong, just from the text. And we sat on the beach after we gathered our supplies and I told him everything. I was pretty much in tears in his arms, and he just listened. Tried to tell me that everything was going to be ok.
And guess what it gets ever better! When I rocked up, you where there(should I mention how after you left said guy friend even said sorry he didn't ask to meet with you it was pure chance you happened to be there.). And you knew there was something wrong with me when you left, but you didn't even send me a text to find out what it was. Do you even care anymore?? Cause I don't think you do, I really don't. I think I care about you a million times more than you care about me. I wonder if you'd even care if I told you just how sick I really was, like I showed our mutual guy friend. After I finished explaining to him the progress in my medical being he was nearly in tears. And all he could say was "Fuck, I thought I was bad cause I think I might have lung cancer." And do you think I needed to explain to him why I was upset at work on friday?? No, of course not, he understands that things happen in our pasts and both him and I are lucky to have survived them in one piece. So he knows that if I go quite or weird or get upset, he knows its over something I rather forget. When I told him what happened, he knew instantly that it brought up memories of things I'd much rather forget.
But I can't even explain that to you, because lately you seem to be avoiding me. And I don't know what to do, everyone else knows I'm upset, everyone else is trying to help me, except you.
I thought we where that close, that we could tell each other everything. In fact we were even closer than that, but yet you can't tell me whats wrong now?
He's the one who didn't even ask why, when I sent him a message saying we needed to catch up. All he did was call me and tell me to meet me at the beach in a hour and we'll have pizza and beers. You have no idea how much I loved that boy then. He could tell something was wrong, just from the text. And we sat on the beach after we gathered our supplies and I told him everything. I was pretty much in tears in his arms, and he just listened. Tried to tell me that everything was going to be ok.
And guess what it gets ever better! When I rocked up, you where there(should I mention how after you left said guy friend even said sorry he didn't ask to meet with you it was pure chance you happened to be there.). And you knew there was something wrong with me when you left, but you didn't even send me a text to find out what it was. Do you even care anymore?? Cause I don't think you do, I really don't. I think I care about you a million times more than you care about me. I wonder if you'd even care if I told you just how sick I really was, like I showed our mutual guy friend. After I finished explaining to him the progress in my medical being he was nearly in tears. And all he could say was "Fuck, I thought I was bad cause I think I might have lung cancer." And do you think I needed to explain to him why I was upset at work on friday?? No, of course not, he understands that things happen in our pasts and both him and I are lucky to have survived them in one piece. So he knows that if I go quite or weird or get upset, he knows its over something I rather forget. When I told him what happened, he knew instantly that it brought up memories of things I'd much rather forget.
But I can't even explain that to you, because lately you seem to be avoiding me. And I don't know what to do, everyone else knows I'm upset, everyone else is trying to help me, except you.
I thought we where that close, that we could tell each other everything. In fact we were even closer than that, but yet you can't tell me whats wrong now?
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
I'm giving up on everything, because you messed me up.
Yes, this is a rant blog.
So over the past few days I've been pretty sick, wasn't even able to go into work on Saturday.
But I'm not here to rant about that. I'm here because I'm mildly pissed off. Note to people, I don't take to kindly to being ignored. I don't take to kindly to being forgotten. I don't take to kindly to being lied too, because when someone tells you everything is fine and tells you that you guys are good and then acts the opposite. It kind of sends out mixed signals. It's gotten to the stage where I don't even think he wants to talk to me anymore, you'd think he'd know by now that I find out everything. Like how he said he had a hectic day sorry he couldn't text me back. When I know he was having a conversation(texting) with a mutual friend of ours, because she was so worried about me that she text him to see if it was just me he was ignoring, and it was.
I learnt that he doesn't read this, so I don't really care what I say on here anymore. But I don't know what to do, did we just get too close and now this is the result of that? Everyone told me not to get attached, but I didn't listen. Everyone said that I was going to get hurt if I lost him, but I didn't listen. Everyone said he was just like every other guy, but I didn't believe them. But they where right. Things haven't been the same since. We barely talk, we exchange a few small polite texts which are always started by me. I'm the only one making an effort in this friendship anymore. We haven't hung out in a week, which NEVER happens for us. We haven't spoken properly in a week, which also never happens. And each day, the only reason we talk anymore is because I can't stand the silence between us, and I can't stand the fact that he claims that everything is fine, when clearly it isn't.
He's the only one who hasn't noticed that I'm upset, he's the only one not notice that I'm at my wits end over this. Even that silly mutual friend of ours who acts like a girl, who I'm not talking to. Came and sorted things out and asked me who was the guy that was making me upset lately. Of course I didn't tell him his name, but even he notices. So it's impossible that he hasn't noticed, he's clearly just decided to ignore the fact that his best friend is miserable because she feels like she's being ignored and treated extremely unfairly, by the one person who means more to her than anything in this world :(
It feels like I've been used, and by a person who was so close to me, it cuts deep. Real deep. And the worst part is, I'm so afraid to lose him that I wont even bring it up, I'll continue on as if he hasn't been ignoring me and treating me differently. Because that's what you do when you want someone to stay in your life, you'll ignore all the hurt and you'll ignore all the pain and you'll put a smile on your face; just for them.
So over the past few days I've been pretty sick, wasn't even able to go into work on Saturday.
But I'm not here to rant about that. I'm here because I'm mildly pissed off. Note to people, I don't take to kindly to being ignored. I don't take to kindly to being forgotten. I don't take to kindly to being lied too, because when someone tells you everything is fine and tells you that you guys are good and then acts the opposite. It kind of sends out mixed signals. It's gotten to the stage where I don't even think he wants to talk to me anymore, you'd think he'd know by now that I find out everything. Like how he said he had a hectic day sorry he couldn't text me back. When I know he was having a conversation(texting) with a mutual friend of ours, because she was so worried about me that she text him to see if it was just me he was ignoring, and it was.
I learnt that he doesn't read this, so I don't really care what I say on here anymore. But I don't know what to do, did we just get too close and now this is the result of that? Everyone told me not to get attached, but I didn't listen. Everyone said that I was going to get hurt if I lost him, but I didn't listen. Everyone said he was just like every other guy, but I didn't believe them. But they where right. Things haven't been the same since. We barely talk, we exchange a few small polite texts which are always started by me. I'm the only one making an effort in this friendship anymore. We haven't hung out in a week, which NEVER happens for us. We haven't spoken properly in a week, which also never happens. And each day, the only reason we talk anymore is because I can't stand the silence between us, and I can't stand the fact that he claims that everything is fine, when clearly it isn't.
He's the only one who hasn't noticed that I'm upset, he's the only one not notice that I'm at my wits end over this. Even that silly mutual friend of ours who acts like a girl, who I'm not talking to. Came and sorted things out and asked me who was the guy that was making me upset lately. Of course I didn't tell him his name, but even he notices. So it's impossible that he hasn't noticed, he's clearly just decided to ignore the fact that his best friend is miserable because she feels like she's being ignored and treated extremely unfairly, by the one person who means more to her than anything in this world :(
It feels like I've been used, and by a person who was so close to me, it cuts deep. Real deep. And the worst part is, I'm so afraid to lose him that I wont even bring it up, I'll continue on as if he hasn't been ignoring me and treating me differently. Because that's what you do when you want someone to stay in your life, you'll ignore all the hurt and you'll ignore all the pain and you'll put a smile on your face; just for them.
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